5 Keys To Take Back Control of And Get Results

Do you ever have times in your life where you have a great idea or feel pulled to do something amazing, to really step up and move forward? You start out filled with enthusiasm, tell the people closest to you, feel full of positivity and excitement then.....somehow you lose momentum, start doubting your ideas, tell yourself you cannot do it and allow negative reactions from others to confirm why it won't work.
Oh...then you beat yourself up for giving up and feel bad. Sound familiar?

It is all too easy in the world we live in today to allow events and circumstances to dictate what we do with our lives and how we feel in a given moment. Over time we can become fearful, anxious, depressed, overwhelmed and unhappy.

So what are the keys to taking back control of your life?

1. Choose how you feel – at any moment you are choosing how to feel by what you are doing with our physiology, how you move and breathe, your focus, and your language. Change any one of those 3 things and you can change how you feel. Ask yourself better questions because by doing this you are instantly changing what you focus on. For example rather than asking “why can’t I do this?” “why is this not working”, ask “How can I turn this around?” or “what can I do right now to move forward.”

2. Be Honest - What do you really want? What excites you? If you could do absolutely anything what would it be? What do you love doing? Brainstorm!

3. Get enough reasons WHY this is important to you. What will it give you? How will your life be different? How will you improve not only your own life for the better but also those around you? How great will it be that you are following your passion? Having enough reasons why is really essential. Those reasons will keep you going through the toughest challenges.

4. Get leverage - If you don't do this how will you feel? If you settle for second best what will your life be like in the future? When you are older and looking back on your life how much will you regret not doing this? Find someone to hold you accountable and encourage you. this is critical. It can be someone you know or ideally a coach who is trained to help you break through limiting beliefs that are holding you back and give you tools you can use to move forward. Accountability is the key!

5. TAKE ACTION - Put together a timescale with small and manageable steps that you can take. Nothing will change if you don't take action. Every step you take is a step closer to your dream becoming reality. Get feedback and learn. If something isn't working then look at different ways to get the results you want.

How to deal with anxious thoughts - Part 1 - Blue sky thinking

I was walking along the beach the other day... the sky was blue and the sun was shining...as I walked passed people they were generally smiling and saying "hi".Contrast that with many of the cold windy and overcast days of late and passing dog walkers are much less likely to share a smile and say "hi" more interested in getting back home out of the cold and wind as soon as possible.
How does this relate to when you are worrying a lot and feeling anxious and panicky, not quite able to relax?
We think thousands of thoughts a day - some make us feel good, some neutral and some not so great.  How we feel depends on which of those thoughts that we are choosing to focus on and buy into.  Until we put attention on any thoughts all of them are equal.  By the way just because we think a thought does it make it true? Of course not!  But when we are feeling low already it is easy to buy into and believe all the negative thoughts we are having, discounting all the positive ones.  If we do that enough we can go from having a few anxious thoughts to taking on the identity of being an anxious person which makes it a lot more difficult to get out of the negative cycle of thinking the negative thoughts leading to feeling anxious and then behaving differently to try and either prove those thoughts wrong or to try and not think them.
So ...my first tip for you if you are having a lot of anxious thoughts is to do some mindfulness and some blue sky thinking.  What I mean by that is imagine that your mind is the blue sky...and your thoughts are the clouds in the sky...some positive and some negative but like the clouds in the sky our thoughts always pass.  The aim of doing this is to start observing your thoughts positive and negative without buying into them and believing them.  Realise that no matter how many anxious thoughts you are having, they do pass.  By doing this you can begin to break the chain of one anxious thought leading to another and another and another....they just become thoughts that don't mean anything apart from the fact that you are thinking!
Try that out and let me know how you get on!
Part 2 coming soon!

Top tips to deal with stress and anxiety

In today's 24-7 society it can be easy to get swept away with busy-ness which in turn can lead to it being more difficult to relax and sleep at night.  Over a prolonged period of time this can lead to increased levels of stress and anxiety which in some cases can lead to feeling of panic.  As a start on this topic I thought I would share a few of my tips on what you can do if you are feeling anxious and stressed to become more  relaxed.

•         Realise that you are not the anxiety you feel.  You may sometimes have anxious thoughts and feelings but equally there are times when you feel different emotions for example happy, excited, sad, proud etc.  Realise that just like every other emotion anxiety also passes.
•        Do something each day to challenge your fear.  Just taking small steps and facing your fear will make a huge difference to your life.  Fear can only remain when you avoid what it is you are scared of and never challenge the thoughts and feelings that you have
•          When feeling anxious over a period it can affect your mood and your belief in your ability to do certain things.  Make an effort to focus on what you want and take actions towards that each day.
•          When feeling anxious and having anxious thoughts practice observing your thoughts and feelings rather than buying into and believing them.  Practicing Mindfulness is a great way to do this.
•          Do some exercise.  Even if that means just going for a walk exercise can help you to feel more positive.
•         Keep a diary which shows your progress in overcoming your fears.  This will help you keep momentum and focus on the positive steps that you are taking.         
•       You can change how you feel by changing your physiology (how you move and breathe), your focus and your language (the questions that you are asking yourself).  Notice the difference of what you do when you are feeling great and when you are feeling anxious.  Next time you are feeling negative change your physiology, focus and questions you ask yourself, maybe remember a time when you felt great and see how you feel!